Boundaries... When is healthy to say YES and NO
Updated: Aug 24, 2019
More often that we'd like, we tend to say YES to things that we are not comfortable doing in fear that the person who's asking will like us less or don't want to speak to us anymore, and that's something that no human wants to feel, specially as the nurturing and compassionate women that you are.
BOUNDARIES are healthy, we just have to learn when is time to set them and when is time to bend them a little bit.
In a world where everyone teaches people to say NO, I am the opposite, I believe that saying YES at times is as healthy as saying NO... You just got to learn when and why.
There's a movie with Jim Carrey (BTW, LOVE HIM! Such an inspiration) called "YES MAN", if you haven't watch it yet, I highly recommend it.
In this movie Jim Carrey's character has a very monotonous life, he's the guy that goes to work every day, has the same routine every morning, is deeply obsessed with life, work and his own ways that he finds it hard to say YES to anything that is outside his comfort zone... And then, one day, boooom! He decides that thing have to change and he goes to the other extreme, saying YES to everything and anything that comes his way, which leads him to amazing adventures and journeys... which is awesome, and it feels like a lifetime well lived, until shit hits the fan, and his YES to everything have consequences he never imagined.
Anyways, enough of the movie, you'll have to watch it to get your own intake and lesson from it... Apart from this movie, which I remembered so vividly at the times when I was trying to figure out why is so important to know when is best to say YES and when is best to step back and chose to do something else instead without feeling guilty.
Saying YES requires a lot of guts and willpower, same as saying NO and here's why and how to chose wisely,
When is BEST to say YES:
YES to new opportunities!
YES to what makes you feel happy and fulfilled!
YES to stepping out of your comfort zone!
YES to learning new things!
YES to discover the unknown!
YES to be who you want to be!
YES to know that you are strong and capable!
YES to trying something that you never thought you would!
YES to know that life has more to give!
YES to yourself for stepping into your soul power!
YES to live a Life in your own terms!
YES to your core values!
Core values, that's the foundation for everything that you want your life to be. Your core values dictate the quality of your living, your friendships and you goals and once you are determined to stand by them, you can attract what's best for you and the abundance you want in your life and business.
How to determine what your core values are?
That's easy... Think about the way you'd like to be treated, is it kindly, pampering, nurturing, motivating, loving, forgiving?
What are the things that you don't wish on others?
What are the things that you would never do to to others because they are hurtful and mean?
What are the feelings you want to give others that are not aligned to yourself?
Why would you want to wish on to others pain and hurt when that has damaged you the most?
Why would you want others to suffer what you have when you know is not a nice feeling to go through?
All these are questions you need to answer yourself first before you decide when is best to say YES and NO to life and others, but... there's always a "but", isn't it? We have to know how much we are willing to be there for someone else if the other person is not giving what they need for their own self... And that's where learning how to say NO comes in.
Learning how to say NO to certain people, situations, events and life gatherings is a way to help others find their power on their own. We can't be available 24-7 for someone who's not available for themselves. We can't heal others if they are not ready to heal themselves, no matter how much we want to help, no matter how much we are there for them.
Saying NO, is at times more beneficial to help others find their path and our own as well, without self-healing and self-growth, we are unable to help others... Let people find their way when their time is right, and work on the first person that needs your help the most, YOU... Then you can hold their hand and lead the way!
Love, Light, BE
Maria C. Krause. Mindset and Business Coach.
Founder and Owner of UNCHAIN YOUR INNER STRENGTH podcast and online magazine.