Oh my, oh my! The moment you thought you had the power and had no idea what you have unleashed!!!
Today I am going to tell you a story about this girl, who from someone else power trip, turned into this powerful and unstoppable woman...Just from one simple act, the simple act of trying to control her! Huge mistake!!!
I started working at a young age, so basically I went from primary to secondary school and then work, living a life by someone else's rules, being told what I can and cannot do. You might be thinking that's the same life you've been taught to follow, so?! That's life some would say...I say FUCK THAT!!!! This woman is not taking that shit anymore. Because of that simple act of someone else trying to control me again, I HAD ENOUGH. I HAVE FINALLY KNOW MY WORTH!
Keeping with the story...sorry, had a another moment of "WOOOOHOOOOO", THIS IS ME!FREE!... I've been working for someone else for the past 20 years now, until about 2 years ago, I decided it was time to step up. Try to find my passion and do something that I could call it my own; something where I could dictate the rules (NO FUCKING RULES, obviously); something that I could be proud of; something where I could work alongside people, as a team; NO HIERARCHY! None of this bullshit of having to wear a different attire just to prove that someone holds a higher position at the company, at work, wherever!
Clothes don't make the person. A higher rank, doesn't mean that you're better or more qualified than I am... Have you ever stopped and thinking for a moment, that I DO NOT WANT A HIGHER POSITION IN THIS FUCKING JOB, it's my choice, because I always knew I was destined to create the life I always wanted...And honestly, that higher position, doesn't not have any room in the AWESOME LIFE I'm creating for myself. But I'm happy for you, if that's what you want; if that's how small your dreams are; if that's how you want your life to be like; if you're absolutely happy and satisfied with it, I AM JUMPING OF JOY FOR YOU! Nothing makes me happier than seeing someone else full filling their dreams and living the life they always wanted.
In the other hand, if you are not happy with your choices...Why the FUCK on earth you think it's OK for you to take your FUCKING frustrations out on me and try to make me feel like I am the biggest FUCK UP in the world? Please explain this to me? WHY? WHY? WHY?
I always been a bit of a loose canon, poor MOM, she did really suffer with me, always worried, not knowing what I was going to do next. Where was I going to end up? I'll say her bet for a while was probably jail. LOL! Thanks to myself, those days are over. Yeah, no one else but myself made it possible to make all the changes that I needed and wanted to do.
I managed to strech my youth more than most people would. I traveled around the world. I lived in different countries. I met different kind of people; different cultures, backgrounds, genders. I experienced with different kind of chemicals, and I got myself in some fucked up situations but manage to come through and learn something about life and about myself.
These days of madness are well behind me, and I'm absolutely loving the new life I'm creating for myself. I won't lie, some times I miss it, I miss the crazy chats; the not overthinking and just be wild. But I have found something that brings me more joy and fulfilment than none of those crazy drugs and madness sessions have ever given me. My work, my writing; helping others to find their confidence, believe in themselves and follow their true passion, is what FUCKING gets me up every morning with the biggest smile on my face!
Although I am running my business, as most women who are starting, I have my bumps and challenges. I still have to keep a part time job, and I'm OK with it because I do like my job and I get the freedom to choose when can I or can't I work; at this stage of my life is not about money, is about LIVING EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF MY LIFE DOING WHAT I LOVE!
Some of you might relate to this; starting a business and learn about what business entitles is the easy part; the hardest is believing in yourself, knowing that you are 100% capable of succeeding; and mostly is because we go back to our youth, when we were told what we could and couldn't do, and we fucking believed it! So it took me about a year or so to actually shift those thoughts and feelings out of my head, and here I am today, STRONGER than I have ever been before.... So I'm going to ask that someone again: WHY? WHY THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU CAN THROW ME DOWN? WHAT GIVES YOU THAT RIGHT?
While working on my part time job, I was asked by a friend to help him out in his place; and since I am good at juggling my time and make the most of it, I kindly agree.
Last Friday, I went to a gig, to see one of my many favorite rock and roll bands...and crazy Maria wanted to come out and play so I let her. Oh my, oh my, I am still suffering the consequences now. Next day my head was pounding so bad, as if someone was beating me. My poor little stomach wanted nothing to do with anything; so I did what I haven't done in years, I called in sick. It wasn't easy, I felt guilty because I am a professional and I hate to let people down, but there was no way I could physically work. Needless to say, it wasn't one of my proudest moments, it brought me back to the bad old days....So I LEARN MY LESSON, AGAIN! Those days are behind for a reason and that's where they should stay!
I got suspended for a week from the job where I went to do a favor. I left the conversation with "Let's see what happens next week".
Here is the thing. No, we won't see what's going to happen next week. I do not need someone else to remind me that I fucked up! Trust me, I already know it myself. I do not need someone else make me feel that because I made one simple mistake, I am a horrible human being. I DO NOT NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT YOU ARE IN CHARGE! Because YOU'RE NOT!
You thought you had the power but my, oh my, you have no idea what you have unleashed inside me. I am not angry, anger is an excuse to blame someone else your own fuck ups. I am fully responsible for what I've done, but guess what?! I am also fully responsible of how I want to chose my life to be. I am fully responsible to chose what I feel; what's my next step!
I AM A GROWN POWERFUL AND CONFIDENT WOMAN WHO MAKES HER OWN DECISIONS! I AM IN CHARGE!
So please do yourself a favor, that someone, those many someone's and STOP TRYING TO FUCKING CONTROLLING ME, BECAUSE YOU'LL DEFINITELY LOOSE!
I AM POWER! I AM IN CONTROL! I AM ME!